I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
