He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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