i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just pee around me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
