No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
