I would go down on you faster than GM stock
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
