I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
