i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
