ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
