if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
