He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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