I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize