This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
