marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
