I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I looked at my own cervix.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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