I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
