"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
