to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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