Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
