at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
