so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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