we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
