just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize