just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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