Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
