its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I touched a dick in church today
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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