I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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