I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
