I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
