I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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