STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
