i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
