I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
