Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
