i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
