No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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