I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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