Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize