That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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