Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So many bounce houses so little time
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize