i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
