ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
