I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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