about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
