You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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