no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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