i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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