Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
