Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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