...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
