I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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