This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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