Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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