I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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