So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
