I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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