woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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