I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize