Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we made out on top of his cat.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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