I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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