Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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