so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
