We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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