Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
