doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
