Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
