Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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