Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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