if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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