At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
