Dual....:-)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
