This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
