another moral hangover. fuck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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