I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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