Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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