i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
